Thanks so much for sticking around the past six weeks as I’ve tried to make sense of what’s been going on personally and try my best to keep sharing my fitness journey with you. Hopefully, it’s given you a sense of how to keep going despite adverse conditions in your own life.
Anyway, there’s not much else to say about last week. My niece Paige went to her Eternal Home after 40 days of fighting the good fight.
Yes, I need a moment for that to sink in.
It’s not like we’re sad or crying all the time. I had my paroxysm of grief in the early hours of Wednesday, when I found out she was gone. And I’ve shed tears at random hours of the day. But aside from mourning that I will never get to see her grow up, I’m secure in the heart knowledge that she is Somewhere better, where no illness or infirmity can ever touch her again.
Our lives are short, and some are even shorter. Then, Eternity begins. So, what are we doing with the life we have been given? For the past few weeks, I have seen the purpose of my life: to be in service to the ones around me, to love them and support them and be a blessing to them. It’s what kept me moving through days I felt paralyzed by my inability to do anything to improve my niece’s condition (even if we threw all the money in the world at it).
You know that feeling you get after you’ve been training hard for a big race, and then you suddenly taper? All the little joint and muscle niggles come knocking, and you feel out of sorts? That’s exactly how it felt in the days after her passing — not just emotionally, but also physically. You really have no idea how much you’re going through until that pressure is released. The difference is, there isn’t a race at the end of it.
If you’re going through something big, the first step to dealing with it is to acknowledge its enormity and significance. I think it’s important to take a moment (or more) to remember, mourn, celebrate. So that’s what I’m doing for now.
I know I’ll be okay. There is a “peace that surpasses all understanding” from God that has brought us comfort during our darkest hours, and continues to be a balm for our wounded hearts. But just give me a moment…